Funny SMS

 

May the nose diving Stock exchange enable You to buy the blue chips. May the lower commodity Prices lower the price of Your next lcd tv. May the sky rocketing Gold help give value To your wife’s jewelery And most importantly May the eroding wealth Help reiterate that The only treasure that Is immune to this Recession wits for You at home. Happy Pongal 


Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER…. wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH…!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
A police recruit was asked during exam, “What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.”
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don’t stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
Girl: I wanna a responsible man as a husband. Man replies: Dat’s me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I m responsible!
Friend: how many women do u believe must a man marry? Mr. Bean: 16 Friend: Why? Mr. Bean: Coz the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
Psychiatrist’ s receptionist comes & says There’s a man out who says he can make himself invisible. Psychiatrist: “Tell him I can’t see him right now.”
There’s only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There’s only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it!
Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks To be as rich as his child believes To have as many women as his wife suspects..
Women are like blue jeans, They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.
If u r stressed, you’ll get pimples.. if u cry,u’ll get wrinkles.. So, y don’t u smile & get dimples?
There are many things in ur life which will catch ur eye but only few will catch ur heart pursue those 


 

Gud Frnds shud b like 2 zeros..
Wen u try 2 add they r same,
wen u subtract they r again same.
Bt wen u try 2 divide they r “indivisible..”
Wen heart starts beating for sumbody,
U would feel every beat as precious.
Bt wen tat sumbody vanishes frm ur life u ll feel every beat as pain..!
Gud mrg.
One who wins in love,wins the
life.
But,one who fails in love,can win the world.
- WILLIAM SHAKESPHERE.
Love Equation
SmartBoy + Smart Girl=Romance
FoolishBoy+ Smart Girl=Empty Pocket
Foolish Boy+ Foolish Girl=Marriage
Smart Boy+ Foolish Girl =pregnent
Keeping sum1 n ur heart z easy…Bt 2 b in sum1s heart z nt dat simple…So respect nd consdr da heart which luvz u. 


 

Aapko Diwali Mubarak Ho,
Aapki Diwali Mangalmaye Ho..
Kintu Parantu ..I know its 2 early
Bt I have thousands of beauties, hotties and smarties to wish…
So I thougnt to finish AunTies & UncLes 1st… 


Hutch is Now Vodafone. Naam badal gayaa.
Company badal gayi.
Pink se Red ho gaye.
Lakhon Rupaye lag gaye,
fir bhi…
Rahe Kutte ke Kutte hi… 

Girl’s Attitude?
when boy doesn’t look at her she says
KUTTA dekh bhi nahi sakta….
But when boy looks at her she says,
DEKH KAISE KUTTON ki tarah dekh raha hai…. 

samundar bhar syllabus hai,
nadi bhar padte hai,
bucket bhar yaad rehta hai,
mug bhar likhte hai,
chullu bhar marks milte hai,
jisme doob ke marte hai.. 

zakham dene ka andaz kuch aisa hai,
zakham de kar kehte hain, ab haal kaisa hai?
kisi ek se gila kya karna yaaro,
puri duniya ka mizaaz hi ek jaisa hai…….. 

NASA ne 3 Sardar Chand pe bheje.
Rocket uda par aadhe raaste se vapas aa gaya!
Jab sardaro ko pucha to bole : aaj amavas hai.. chand to hoga hi nahi!!


Chand par kaali ghata chaati to hogi,
Sitaron mein Chamak aati to hogi.
Tum lakh chupao Duniya se, magar akeley mein
tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati to Hogi. 

Father: Beta tune college me sabse mushkil kaam konse shikhe?
Beta: Maine 2 Muskil kaam sikhe. 1) Dantoon se beer ki bottle kholana, 2) Tez aandhi main 1 maachis ki tili se cigrete jalana. 

Aap itraate bahut ho dil ko behlate bahut ho,
Sochte hai apko Dinner per le jaye,
Par kya kare hamara iraada badal jaata hai,
kyunki tum khate bahut ho…!! 

Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
COMA se jaage huye mareez ko permanently sula diya. 


1.Premika–Ae bewafa tune sabkuch saaf kar diya mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya.
Premi–Teri kurbaani bekar nahi jayegi,bhej de rakh bartan majne k kaam aayegi.
2.1 mulla ki shaadi nahi ho rahi thi, Wo mannat mangne gaya.Waha uski maa khai me dir gayi….Mulla bola__Ya khuda teri khudi, Apni to mili nahi_ Abaa ki bhi gawai.
3.Bijli + Barsaat = Savan aaya,
Barsaat + Baaja = Dulha aaya,
Phool + Nazaare = Vasant Aaya,
Aap + Aap ki hansi = Bhaago-Bhaago Bhoot Aaya.
4.Husband Wife ghumne gaye, raste me ek dgadha ghaas khata mila, Wife boli- O G Tumhara rishtadaar ghaas kha raha hain, Namaste karo.
Husband- Namaste sasur ji.
5.Santa Banta se puchta hain,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?” Banta kehta hain answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh do, paas karke dikha.
6.D Best example f laziness
Boy- Papa 1 glass pani de do ,
Papa- Khud le lo, Boy- plz de do.
Papa- ab mango ge to thapad doonga.
Boy- Jab thapad dene aaoge to paani lete aana! 

* A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house… still he was in jail…….why? coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
* Suraj bana tu badal banay,chand bana tu taray banay,husn bana tu deewanay banay.kuch tu hai baat aap mai.yun hee tu nahi pagal khanay banay…:D
* Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja! Girl: Sandal utaaroon kya? Boy: Aray pagli, yeh koi mosque thodi hai, aise hi aaja!
* Roshni dayker doob jana koi suraj se seekhey.. Dil dai ker dard lena ki humse seekhey.. kuch na deyker Dil lena koi unsey seekhey.. SMS leker REPLY na kerna koi Aapsey seekhey
* Kiya ap kay sir per seengh hain?no r u sure?plz check again.no ,ok no problem waqie Gadhay kay sur per seengh nahi hotay
* aik bandar ka bacha apni maan say: maa main itna badsurat kyon hoon maa beta khuda ka shukar karo usay dheko jo message pardh raha hai
* Bhul se kabhi hame bhi yaad kiya karo, Pyar nahi to shikayat kiya karo, itna bhi gair na samjho k baat hi na kiya karo, phone nahi to sms hi kiya karo
* Hum dono main cute kon smart kon dashing kon sweet kon handsome kon yeh sab tum tow hoo nahe saktay tow bachaa kon…
* Wafa Main Ab Ye Hunar Ikhtiar Karna Hai,
Woh Sach Kahe Na Kahe Aitebar Karna Hai.
Yeh TujhKo Jagte Rehne Ka Shauk KabSe Hua,
Mujhe To Khair Tera Intezaar Krna Hai.
Khwabon main ayenge SMS ki tarah.
Dil main bas jayenge ring tone ki tarah,
* jam kerwa hai magar itna nahi k pia na jaye,
zindagi main dard hai magar itna nahi k jia na jaye,
sms kerny per paisay lagtay hain magar itney nahi kay kia na jaye;)